I finally did it

Today we were taking pictures. I never liked looking at them because I thought I looked weird. My mum always told me the camera adds 10 pounds but it made my hair messy and stained my shirt. Today would be different because I was going to look like my dad in his pictures. Time to look the part.

I started to get dressed and made sure to button up my shirt properly. I checked it three times because I was always left with missing buttons somehow but it was correct this time. I was making progress and that’s all that matters.

But then came the most difficult part. My tie.

My dad always did it for me and once tried to teach me. It never really worked out because I was always ended up tying my hands together or not doing anything at all.

I held both ends of the tie in my hand, stood in front of the mirror and tried to recreate the magic. It was difficult but eventually I had something resembling a knotted tie.

I did it all by myself. This was the time I became a man.

Me. The manliest man of them all. I was extremely proud of myself. I ran downstairs  and showed my dad how I got dressed all by myself  with the biggest grin on my face. He started laughing then told my mum to look at me. She thought I looked amazing in my school uniform.

I was ready to take pictures. No one could ruin my hair or mess up my shoes because I was on top of the world.

That was truly exciting. School that day was special to me. It was the day I said goodbye to depending on my parents and hello to my first day as a man.

My next step is to grow a beard just like my dad.

***

This is a response to a prompt about excitement. I just wanted to post something since I haven’t been consistent with posting in the past two weeks. Sorry if it seems rushed or you now hate ties.

I tried cooking my sister

I found the small stool I used to reach the sink when I brush my teeth and placed it down in front of me. I could now reach everything I needed. The fiery circles mum puts the pots on, the big wooden spoons and carrots. I climbed on top of the counter and put everything I needed in front of me.

Then I saw her. She thought smiling and kicking her feet would change her fate but not today. She took all of mum’s attention by screaming and crying whenever she felt like it. I no longer had story time because mum was too tired from looking after her all day. She also got more presents than me last Christmas.

Today that would all change.

I tried to make the fiery circles work. I didn’t know all of the dials and buttons mum used to make it work. It looked like a spaceship and I didn’t have any training for that so I had to find another way to complete my plan.

I walked over to my sister and tried to pick her up. I thought babies were meant to be small? Carrying her felt like the holding all my school books at once. I didn’t want to hurt her so I put her down and she stumbled her way into the kitchen.

I opened the oven and she gleefully climbed in. I put the carrots in for flavour since that’s what happens in all the movies and waited.

My mum warned me against having cookies when she wasn’t around but she was sleeping this time – so it was kind of ok, right? I thought so. I climbed onto the counter and tried opening the cupboard where she kept them but the worst thing possible happened. They fell onto the floor.

She shot up from her bed, rushed downstairs and caught me staring at the cookie jar that was smashed to pieces. I tried running past her but she blocked the doorway and asked me where my sister was.

My plan was falling apart.

After she took my sister out of the oven, I ran upstairs to hide under the covers in the hope that she’d forget about everything. She didn’t.

I expected to hear “You’re grounded forever!” or “You’re never allowed to eat in this house again!” Instead she walked into my room and said:

“You didn’t turn the oven on.”

I wasn’t allowed any cookies for a whole week.

***

26/08/13: This also relates to a daily prompt :) However, I’m not sure I would call myself a comedian.